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Not Too Long, Just 6 Inches Only!

One day, an Ang Moh from USA arrived at KLIA Airport. After he checked out from the customs, he felt he needed to go to the toilet, so he looked for one.

When he found the toilet, there was a lady sitting at the entrance. When he was about to enter the toilet, the lady stopped him and asked for forty cents in Cantonese (‘sey kok’).

The Mat Salleh wondered why in MALAYSIA they have to ‘see the cock’ before entering the toilet?
So he said ‘no’ but the lady insisted. Since he had no choice, he took out his cock and showed it to her.

The lady said ‘No! No! Duit, Duit!’ (money in Malay), but the Ang Moh misunderstood again and thought that she said ‘Do it! Do it!’ So he asked, ‘Now? Here?’

The lady replied ‘Yes, yes!’ because she doesn’t quite understand English. The Ang Moh thought that she wanted to have sex with him, so he stripped the lady and made love to her.

The lady started screaming and shouted, ‘SAKIT! SAKIT!’ (pain in Malay), and the Ang Moh thought it was ‘SUCK IT! SUCK IT!’

He said ‘OK! I will suck it for you’ and took both breasts and suck them. The lady again screamed ‘Oh, TUHAN!’ (Oh, MY GOD….in Malay).

The Ang Moh misunderstood again. ‘Too HARD? OK, sweetheart, I’l l be gentler a bit,’ the Ang Moh replied.

Suddenly, a security guard walked by, so the lady shouted for help, ‘TOLONG! TOLONG, ENCIK!’ The Ang Moh replied, ‘Not too long, just 6 inches only.’

Long Hair Is Sexy?

Long hair is for men what short hair is to women, a choice of lifestyle. lilithgallery

“There is no legal limit for a man or woman to growing out their hair, but what is important, is that a man be cautious when he grow out his hair that he not intend to imitate women, nor the people of sin and shamelessness. If he intends this, it is haram.”

Celebrities hair styles.

Photoshop your hair color. Makeover photoshopping. Hair style tool. Taking passport photo with digital camera. Making passport size photo.

Singapore IC Checker

The Singapore NRIC number is made up of 7 digits and a letter behind. This letter is calculated from the first 7 digits using the modulus eleven method, similar to the method used for calculating the check digit of the ISBN Code.

The steps involved to obtain the check digit is

Multiply each digit in the NRIC number by its weight.
Add together the above products.
Divide the resulting sum by 11.
Subtract the remainder from 11 to give the check digit.
Check the check digit against the table to obtain the alphabet.
The following table shows the weight for the NRIC number in Singapore :

2 7 6 5 4 3 2

The following table is used to change the check digit into the corresponding alphabet.

Check Digit
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Alphabet
A B C D E F G H I Z J

This system is used to prevent illegal workers from entering Singapore with a fake passport using a fake NRIC number.

A person has a NRIC number S1234567A

To find out if the NRIC number is valid, we need to use the method above.

2(weight)*1(NRIC number) + 7(weight)*2(NRIC number) + 6(weight)*3 + 5*4 + 4*5 + 3*6 + 2*7 = 106

106/11 = 9 r 7

11-7 = 4

Using the table above, if the check digit is 4, then the alphabet at the end of the NRIC number should be D. So, we can conclude that this NRIC number is invalid.

http://codingncryptography.tripod.com/01NRIC.htm

7 habits for successful people

 

7 habits for successful people

“Steven Covey is definitely hokkien”

 

Habit No 1

Be Pro-Active :

Kin
Ka Kin Chiew (fast leg, fast hand)

 

Habit No 2

Begin with the End In mind :

Wu
Tow Wu Buay (have head, have tail)

 

Habit No 3

First Thing First :

Chik
Hung Chik Hung Lai ,

Ban
Ban Lai (One thing at a time, slow and steady) or

Cho
Tow Seng (do first)

 

Habit No 4

Think Win-Win :

Long
Chong Ai Yarh (everything want to win)

 

Habit No 5

Seek To Understand Rather Than To Be Understood :

Cho
Lang Ai Eh Beng Pek (you must be understanding)

 

Habit No 6

Synergize :

Tai
Kay Ai Hup Chop (all must co-operate)

 

Habit No 7

Sharpen the Saw :

Toh
Bua Lai Lai

 

 

 

Boss First

A customer service rep, a sales rep and a vice president of a business software firm in a large city are walking through a park on their way to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke.

The Genie says, “I usually only grant three wishes, so I’ll give each of you just one.”

“Me first! Me first!” says the customer service rep. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.”

Poof! She’s gone.

In astonishment, “Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of pina coladas and the love of my life.” Poof! He’s gone.

“You’re next,” the Genie says to the vice president. The vice president says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”

Moral of story: Always Let your Boss have the first say.

Funny eh?

1. A customer went to snack bar and ordered a hamburger. When 20 minutes had gone and his food hadn’t arrived, the irritated customer asked the waiter.

Customer : Will my hamburger be long?
Waiter : No, sir…it will be round.

2. Two young boys was having their morning breakfast, consist of hot chocolate and cereal. As he almost finish his meal, the younger of the two headed for their aquarium, his hand full of cereal. Just before he feed the turtles and the fish, his mother came into the room.

“Don’t do it, Kamal”,she said.”They’ll die.” The boys face turned pale and throw his mother a desperate look, “Then why did you gave it to us ?”

3. Customer : Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter : Sit down, sir,we serve anyone.

4. Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.

5. Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.

Rockerzz Rulezz – All Starzz Concert 08

Artistes: Nash (Lefthanded), Mus (May), Kristal and Yazid (Lovehunters).
Date: Nov 7, 2008
Time: 7:30 – 11:00 pm
Place: Suntec City Hall 603
General Admission: SGD$33 (Ticket Price), SGD$38 (Door Price)

The SGD$38 Ticket.

What was supposed to be the 21st Anniversary of WINGS’ concert was turned into Kristal’s concert with guest artists Nash, Mus and Yazid of Lefthanded, May and Lovehunters respectively. The last time I watched Wings performed live was the “Konsert Perdana – Rock Lives On Without Drugs” on May 4, 1990 at the Singapore Indoor Stadium performing with Search.
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Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri 2008!

Hehe.. It’s almost 3 weeks now that we celebrated the month of Shawal. Nobody except Imraneo and wife came to my house since the relatives and visitors were diverted to my sister’s house for hari raya visiting.

I received a couple of sms hari raya greatings:

“Lapar puasa terketar2, bila berbuka lega rasanya, kad raya tak sempat nak antar, kiriman sms kira ok lah ye… slmt hari raya. rgds amin” – Amino 30-09-2008 21:42:09

“Eid Mubark!!” – Aman 01-10-2008 08:00:03

“Wishing all ma brudders Eid Mubarak!” – Imraneo 01-10-2008 10:53:49